When was the last time you got yourself all tangled up and experienced a real mess getting unstuck? Sometimes the unsticking process takes years. Maybe a misunderstanding with a friend, something you’ve always done in a certain way, or a belief that served you so well in the past but now just doesn’t fit.
The older I get the more foolish I feel when I look down and see that I’ve once again stepped in a trap. Especially a trap that I’ve stepped in time and time again. Do you wonder sometimes about what has trapped you? Or have you gotten too used to the feeling that you no longer notice that you’re stuck?
“If you keep fighting with yourself, you will always win.” ―
We all live ensnared lives
Some people talk so much and get tripped up because of all their casual words – or poor timing with the wrong words.
Others have relationships that don’t work – maybe it worked at one time – but now it’s poisonous or harmful to someone else.
Our work can stop “working” for us. There is so much rapid change in the economy, it’s possible to wake up one day and discover that you no longer fit. You discover that you’re trapped but don’t know how to get out.
Do you ever notice getting caught up in tides of current events? It’s possible to get swept out and sucked under. Do casual conversations sometimes blow up into arguments – now more than ever? I think that there are times when we mimic instead of thinking for ourselves – we repeat what sounds vaguely familiar but don’t always understand what we say.
So many words being spoken today. In one ear and out the other. Everyone with an opinion. Listening takes real effort and sacrifice. Learning to hear can help to disentangle.
“To be concentrated in relation to others means primarily to be able to listen. Most people listen to others, or even give advice, without really listening. They do not take the other person’s talk seriously, they do not take their own answers seriously either. As a result, the talk makes them tired. They are under the illusion that they would be even more tired if they listened with concentration. But the opposite is true. Any activity, if done in a concentrated fashion, makes one more awake (although afterward natural and beneficial tiredness sets in), while every unconcentrated activity makes one sleepy—while at the same time it makes it difficult to fall asleep at the end of the day.” ― The Art of Loving
New traps these days
Right now, what I think is causing most of my own stumbling and bumbling from one trap to another is a lack of rhythm. It’s time (for a long time) for me to figure out the new beat for my life. Routines are what set the rock and roll to our lives.
“When you learn to find rhythm in any situation, half of battle is already won.” ― Purvi Raniga
During the pandemic so many of us were out of our normal rhythms. This has made it even more difficult for us to get on with living now in the post-pandemic days. I’m not very happy with the sedentary routines I have fallen into. Friends were talking today about the adjustments to the work world – will working from home change over the next year? Surveys report that Americans remain at a high level of disconnection with each other. We’re not taking the time and trouble to have people over to the house, go out with friends, or take trips. What has especially not returned to normal is attending larger crowd events.
“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” ―
Change helps us see our snares
Do you notice that when you get cranky about change – sometimes it’s just because you’re stuck? I don’t want to speed up or change directions mostly because it’s uncomfortable. I’ve gotten used to this pace or situation. I’m sure you know someone who has become comfortable in their misery. I don’t ever want to be THAT person.
When the world about us changes, it provides an opportunity to see if and how we are trapped. The current changes and you cannot follow because your feet are nailed down. That birds are taking flight and you’ve discovered that the past has you too heavy to soar.
Look at the rapid changes taking place in a new way. Maybe, for you, they can be signposts that help point your journey toward that beautiful little town called liberty. Remember when you were young and hanging on to the edge of the swimming pool? You had to finally let go. It was a moment of fear and then a rush of excitement as your face went into the water and you moved out into those loving arms that would never let you sink.
What do you need to turn loose of right now? First make sure that you’ve got some love in your life.
But wait a minute!
What if the people in your life actually need you to get tangled up with them so you can make a difference? It’s an unrealistic illusion and selfish to believe any of us can just unplug from everything and all the people that bring us down. It’s entangled people that need someone like you to help, to be present, to add some sanity to the chaos. Who in your life is calling out from the brush and needs you to reach backwards and lend a hand? Sometimes, that call is never made with words.
“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” ―
The Invisible Man 