“Communication is merely an exchange of information, but connection is an exchange of our humanity.” -Sean Stephenson
I’m not convinced that our technology has done much for our deeper needs for human connection. Maybe it’s even done some damage. Technology has brought us more convenience, broadened our reach, enabled deeper dives into information swimming holes, and created serious addictions to our devices. How has all of this marvelous “wirelessness” made our lives more wonderful and terrible all at once? As I thought more about this during the week, I think college students, despite the perpetual presence of technology in their lives, are not necessarily experiencing useful connectivity.
What if you spent four years at college and never really met anyone?
Since the widespread use of the cell phone (I’m told using that term places me in a very old fashioned category) as I walk into my class, I am always surprised that the silent room is full of people. In the old days (why am I using that phrase so often?), students would be talking, laughing, sharing information at each class session. Today, every student is silently hunched over a phone or laptop never speaking a word or looking at anyone else. It’s not a problem related to getting “warmed up” after the first week or two. This doesn’t change for the entire semester. I have to deliberately instigate social interactions. And these still typically do not have lasting results.
“Human connection is based on trust, and it is trust that is continually violated when people do not practice setting aside their narrow self-interests in consideration of the needs and interests of others, such as their coworkers, family, neighbors, and community.” ―
Time to get intentional. I’m going to have to think about deliberate, non-threatening practices that will enable and encourage college students to develop trust in their situation, fellow students and in me.
Is there another world passing you by?
I’m at the old man stage where I talk out loud to strangers. This is especially prone to happen at school where everyone gets asked, “Did you learn anything today?” These days I can’t always talk to people passing by. Every other person is plugged into their phone while the real world passes by, day by day. I’ve stopped assuming people are talking aloud to me as they pass. It’s more than likely someone is on their hidden phone. I learned that lesson the hard way years ago with a few loud talkers at the grocery store. No one really needed my help finding the beef consommé.
Does staying plugged in while walking or bent over your phone in a crowded room keep people safe from the uncomfortable small talk with strangers?
“I care about strangers when they’re abstractions, but I feel almost nothing when they’re literally in front of me.” ―
As an introvert myself, yes it is much more comfortable to sit in a crowd and look busy/distracted and not in need of anyone’s company. But I’m old enough to realize that’s not very healthy.
Is there really anything better going on in that little phone than the real people’s lives all around us?
“I’m an introvert.
If your party isn’t better
than the one in my head,
I’m not interested.”
Time to get intentional. I can’t invade the personal space of strangers. What I can do is keep smiling. I can continue to extend all the social grace that’s so valuable. It never goes out of fashion or plunges in worth like bitcoin. I can continue to believe that someone real will always win out over everything artificial, in the end.
What’s the weather like today?
All that time and attention spent plugged in and what always surprises me is how little enlightenment occurs. Very rarely do I run across a student who’s prepared for the rain or cold weather. It snuck up almost out of the blue. How is this possible? You’ve been connected almost every waking hour. Don’t you know about the weather, the Russians, or clogged up I-59?
If being constantly connected to the world around doesn’t help us to live a better life – then what does it matter? What else is going on?
Maybe being online all the time is something that’s out of control. Seems harmless to be on your phone constantly. What does an addiction look like? It’s not really about learning, growing and getting a step ahead.
The Six Most Common Types of Technology Addiction
“When you can stop you don’t want to, and when you want to stop, you can’t…” ―
As a sociologist I realize that there are powerful market forces that want nothing more than to trap young people in a perpetual surf on the web. Selling consumer products isn’t the only commodity being peddled. Ideas, calls to action and group affiliation are a few of the categories enticing us to roam endlessly through the web. Actually, there is no age boundary to who can become ensnared in this digital trap. Right?
I just feel at times as if I’m in a zombie film when I walk across campus and there’s so few to return a greeting, much less eye contact.
If I’m going to be more intentional about this, maybe I need a big name tag or sign that just reads, “Hello!” or “Happy Thursday!” Something I could wave and people as they march past while all plugged in. What do you think? I’m already sort of a character at school as it is…
“Beware the man of a single book.” ―
2 thoughts on “Connected, Really?”
I can tell you this is just how I feel with my kids. I think we ought do do everything to get classrooms talking again. Those skills are needed out in the big world!
Sounds like “active learning”? Hard to do with a phone implanted in your ear??