“Goodnight – may you fall asleep in the arms of a dream so beautiful, you’ll cry when you awake.” – Michael Faudet
It was my usual 2AM awakening and I lay there in bed and thought about what I used to worry about during restless nights. Nights before those hard days came. I used to toss and turn, as a lot of people do, about all of the cares and concerns of the daily grind. Over the years, all sorts of projects on the burner at the university. Always having my problem-solving gears cranking away.
So Much To Do Outside The Classroom
From its inception almost thirty years ago, I helped to invent and rework our intro to college experience for new students. This was a perpetual work in progress. The curriculum was remodeled, new leaders recruited, trained and fine tuning made as every new year approached. My mind was forever revolving.
“Every professor secretly thinks that what the world needs is a good, solid lecture–from him, of course.” ―
As a department chair and college dean, I was recruiting adjuncts, training new faculty, evaluating and providing feedback. College instructors don’t arrive necessarily knowing how to teach. Professional development was a large part of helping everyone (especially students) be more successful.
“Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.” ―
I worked at a small university, and this was a tremendous blessing because of the personal coaching and mentoring relationships that were possible. I paced about each day and thought about how to solve someone’s academic challenge, following up through the semester, and preparing students for success in the ever-changing world of work. Very, very satisfying but also part of the tossing and turning.
The Classroom Always Evolving
Add to this the ongoing challenge of keeping classes for everchanging college students “working.” By that I mean academically challenging to high school graduates who were less and less prepared for college, who didn’t know how to read and had very shallow curiosity. Welcome to American higher education. Every semester it was a new adventure to rework courses and try to make learning a bigger target to hit. A nightly toss and turn for sure!
A Journey With My Peers
For several decades I walked with my peers in our journey of faith. Our Bible study class at church shared all the classic experiences of life. Children grew up, left for careers and college, marriages, grandchildren, aging parents. Mostly times filled with joy, but also there were crises to face together. I did spend times worrying, praying and listening as we waited, grieved and put our faith into practice. You can’t be tied together with others in a community and not share some sleepless nights.
Tonight, A Different Set of Cares
This all passed through my head that night last week. Of course, life and death issues had invaded years ago. That night I laughed aloud when I reflected back on those everyday concerns that were no longer parading through my dreams. Instead, that night and most of the week, I was working out the best way to arrange tee shirts in my eight-year-old grandsons’ drawer. He really had too many to fit. Folding them up was not working. It was difficult to find the one he wanted without creating chaos. That was my new toss and turn.
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own” ―
Yesterday Preparation For Today
During that 2AM humorous interlude of reflection, I thought about how things had changed. I’m in a much smaller universe now, but one no less important. Attending church, spending time with grandchildren and friends, a little project here and there. My mind is still clanking away. How to fix this? What’s the real problem with that? When is the best time to make this adjustment? Speak or keep silent? Mostly I’m in retreat and “be silent” mode. What’s missing is my partner in crime, rolling her eyes at all my foolishness. Remember God’s first assessment, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” Still seems true. Surely all that yesterday has helped to make drawer sorting easier. Managing the interfering, helping my family and keeping my big mouth shut around others is probably the real juggling act. Let’s see how well I do. I can’t tell you how much help I get from my granddaughter giving directions from the back seat!
“A new day might not necessarily bring new things, but it can bring a new way to do them.” ―