Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow. ― Shakespeare

That’s the line from Romeo and Juliet.  The young couple are deep in the swamp of infatuation. Both their families are drawing blood to pull them apart. Their deep devotion continues to inspire the Western Worldview even to this day.  Remember that final scene from the classic film Casablanca? Rick surprise Ilsa with a farewell, he tells her, “We’ll always have Paris” with a big close up and the heartbreaking music.

Does anyone have any idea of how labor intensive it is to change an address? That’s just for all the stuff I can remember. There’s bound to be an app that magically does it for me?? Even with the ability to do almost all on my phone, it’s a days long project. The bank made me call someone eventually. I messed up my changes to Amazon so bad they had to implement a rescue team that will take 48 hours to get me fixed. My wife often reminded me that our generation were digital immigrants, not a natives.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ― Joseph Campbell

Goodbyes have been all around us, always. I had lunch with a dear friend, and she told of having the long goodbye experience with her husband who was leaving by dementia. Here in Texas and all across the nation we are ripped apart in grief with tragedy and sorrow at the loss of life after the storms and floods of July 4. Soon it will be time to send first year students off to college. My children and grandson moved away almost five years ago, that was a hard goodbye.

Not all farewell is wrapped up with permanent loss, but it seems like it. Victor Hugo is one of those who said, “When a man is out of sight, it is not too long before he is out of mind.” We’ve all experienced that one way or another. Instant communication tools have helped keep us connected both near and far, that’s one blessing from this curse. I hope I do a good job of not getting lost.

Post WW2 Americans became more mobile because of our booming economy. Careers took young graduates and families all across the country. Learning to frequently say goodbye became a normal practice. Scientists started to wonder if all this mobility would weaken our social connections. Living a mobile life made deep and lasting friendships a challenge. The good news is that over the past decade, Americans are moving much less. Probably due to the integration of technology with work. But…at the same time, that technology is also a barrier to meaningful relations.

“We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there.”  ― Pascal Mercier

I’ve been engaged in a long farewell for several years now. What an experience to reflect about, again and again. No one really prepared me. There wasn’t a course to take. Most of the other people involved didn’t really know what they were doing either. Spending so much of our lives in a digital environment makes us awkward when it comes to feeling and expressing deeper experiences in relation to others. What to say in person to someone who is in grief? How to express shared joy about a long-awaited accomplishment? When and how do we encourage others who are withdrawn because of loss?

Farewell dinner last night with my friends from college. They’ve made a practice of enchilada gatherings with me every few weeks since I started my life alone six years ago. That’s a lot of home remodeling, world traveling, football games and hilarious online content to share over the salsa. They’ve kept me going in so many wonderful ways. This has reinforced my belief that making a habit of getting together is always worth it.  There’s no need for a life-or-death reason or anything important to hash over. But in the end, just being in the physical presence of others can save you, day after day.

Went online to check the weather, five hours later I’m watching a tutorial on how to weave a basket out of carrots…

At times I feel homesick when I look around and so many of my possessions are now gone. Part of a plan to downsize. I’ve got more of the “to do” boxes checked off my list. I’m already living in that strange country that is my future. The garage is filled up with boxes and crates. I lifted a lid and realized that my 30-year career was stuffed into a couple white banker’s boxes. Why did I decide to save that? It was a very hard and weird two-year farewell. When you’re old, time really does fly past. The other day, I just walked out of my church for the last time and drove down that neighborhood street toward a home that would also soon be gone. Just like that afternoon at school. I just drove away for the last time. Soon, I will pull out of my cul-de-sac and be gone.

“What you are to do without me I cannot imagine.” ― George Bernard Shaw

While leaving is true and hard, you cannot move away from anything without also moving toward something else. I’m hoping to have made thoughtful choices about the next steps. Despite feeling like I got pushed into oncoming traffic with no escape planned, God never left me abandoned. He’s good at putting pieces together into something that really works. That’s always been my experience.

My friends took down all my family photos off the walls of the house. Got it all staged and ready to show off and sell. They did a marvelous job. Strange now, it’s almost impossible to just look up and see who I’m driving toward (not away from). I keep looking at my phone to see what new memories have been posted each day. It was Taco Tuesday last week and I saw my future with their mouths stuffed with buffalo chicken and a lot of joy. It does make that sweet sorrow just a bit easier to bear.

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