Who Are You When No One is Looking?

And you, beloved, are the light of the world. A city built on a hilltop cannot be hidden.  Similarly it would be silly to light a lamp and then hide it under a bowl. When someone lights a lamp, she puts it on a table or a desk or a chair, and the light illumines the entire house. You are like that illuminating light. Let your light shine everywhere you go, that you may illumine creation, so men and women everywhere may see your good actions, may see creation at its fullest, may see your devotion to Me, and may turn and praise your Father in heaven because of it.
                                                                                    – Matthew 5:14-16 (The Voice)

At the football stadium this year, before the game, the camera operator puts people’s images up on the giant screen. People are selected who are busy and not paying attention. It’s called the “oblivious camera” – with a timer ticking off how long it takes these unsuspecting “victims” to notice their images and actions projected on a 5000 square foot screen.

I often wonder if the camera operator is given any limits on who or what he can put on the screen during this little game.

As I sit here and watch students in class taking exams it’s always interesting to see what kinds of actions some do when they believe they’re all alone (in their head) yet sitting in a room full of others. Some will rub and scratch out of nervousness. There are all sorts of grooming rituals that take place, just mindless activity some do while thinking real hard. Cracking knuckles very loudly (mostly females), sniffing and snorting (no tissues), and so many different ways to stretch and yawn!

Did you know that yawning is contagious?

Since no one was taught handwriting in school anymore, it’s gruesome to watch all of the ways that students hold their pens and pencils while writing on an exam. It’s as if many had their hands broken and wrongly reset. Most are perfectly legible but there’s always a few examples that need to be sent over to the hieroglyphics department (we don’t have one of those, by the way).

Do you honestly believe that there’s any part of your own life that goes unnoticed by someone?

  • Parents with young children are always warned that little eyes are watching everything that goes on, be careful about what you say or do.
  • You just haven’t lived long enough if you haven’t heard a younger person telling you of some word or deed of yours they will never forget (I sure have!).
  • There are security cameras everywhere, monitoring most public locations.
  • What about that camera lense in your computer screen that’s aimed at you right now?
  • Sometimes, when it seems safe, I will walk past a screaming child in the store and say with much confidence, “Santa Claus is watching…”

When all goes haywire or you feel down in the dumps – just stop, sit still and repeat the truth to yourself, “God is watching me.” Don’t get up and run back into the fire until you’ve awakened to this truth. Let it be a light on each step you have to take.

His Eye is On The Sparrow (1905), Civilla Durfee Martin (1866-1948)

“Why should I feel discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart be lonely
and long for heaven and home?
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is he;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know he watches me.” 

God isn’t watching you in order to make fun, to find out what’s wrong, or to make you feel shame. He’s watching you because he loves you. When you decide to believe in Him and become His child, there’s nothing you are going to do that will drive Him away. Even as oblivious as you are at times, He is forever watching and caring for you.

“Should we not invariably act in this life as though the God whom our heart desires with its highest desire were watching our every action?” ― Maurice Maeterlinck

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A Slow Death

Why should I feel discouraged and why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart be lonely and long for heaven and home?
When Jesus is my portion, a constant Friend is He,
His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.
His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.

Civilia D. Martin (1905)

 

A friend shared this week about two of his co-workers who were experiencing the most terrible crises in their lives. A bunch of us prayed with our friend, that he would be enabled as an inspiration and help to his friends during their tribulations.

“If your Lord calls you to suffering, do not be dismayed, for He will provide a deeper portion of Christ in your suffering. The softest pillow will be placed under your head though you must set your bare feet among thorns.” – Samuel Rutherford (1600-1661)

None of us are really immune from being touched in some way by tragedy. These days, when I bump into monsters in the dark, my question is no longer, “why me?” but instead, “what’s going to happen to me?”

In an earlier post I asked this question about Joseph…

What happened to him during those years in slavery and prison that transformed him into a man who could calmly walk into the court of the most powerful king on earth and bear witness of the power of God?

I was thinking about it again the other day, always reflecting within the boundaries of my own perpetual midlife crisis…when am I going to get out of this quicksand?

Remember, up until the moment Joseph was jumped by his own brothers, beaten and bloodied, dropped into a pit and then sold into slavery…his father had made him the center of their universe. He was younger, didn’t have to work so much, and got to dress really well. In his world it was all about him.

What happens to us on the inside when our world collapses, what we thought we could depend upon, what we had built and all the careful plans we had made? What’s the game plan when:

  • kids grow up and make all the wrong decisions
  • your career falls apart out of the blue
  • the spouse you always depended upon takes flight
  • your health becomes the most urgent crisis – right now
  • God doesn’t seem to answer anymore

How do we survive while imprisoned by tragedy? How do we make it one more day – and then month after month? Peter advises us to bow down (worship), submit your will and fears, then let God carry your heavy baggage. Sometimes this is a moment-by-moment act, every time the fear hits.

So bow down under God’s strong hand; then when the time comes, God will lift you up. Since God cares for you, let Him carry all your burdens and worries. – 1 Peter 5:6-7 (The Voice)

No one else here has ever or will ever care about you as much as God does and always will. Do you believe this? Do you trust this? Are you willing to put it to the test? It’s not a once-and-for-all decision. It’s something you have to do each and every day of your life, until it becomes a habit, like dreaming.

Something happened to Joseph in that dark prison. He probably spent more than ten years of his life locked up with not much hope for his future. But something happened. His God never left him alone, never stopped working something eternal in his life. He started using God’s gifts instead of his own charms – he let God take care of his problems. He became a different person who loved others, forgave his brothers and looked out for the interest of his family and a whole nation first.

“Whatever direction the wind blows, it will blow us to the Lord. His hand will direct us safely to the heavenly shore to find the weight of eternal glory. As we look back to our pains and suffering, we shall see that suffering is not worthy to be compared to our first night’s welcome home in heaven. If we could smell of heaven and our country above, our crosses would not bite us. Lay all your loads by faith on Christ, ease yourself, and let Him bear all. He can, He does, and He will bear you.” – Samuel Rutherford (1600-1661)

Seems like the Joseph who went in to prison stayed behind and a new man emerged, ready to change the world because he had surrendered something his father had built but God wanted to transform.

What a turnaround.

It took time.

It meant being willing to become someone new.