Who Are You When No One is Looking?

And you, beloved, are the light of the world. A city built on a hilltop cannot be hidden.  Similarly it would be silly to light a lamp and then hide it under a bowl. When someone lights a lamp, she puts it on a table or a desk or a chair, and the light illumines the entire house. You are like that illuminating light. Let your light shine everywhere you go, that you may illumine creation, so men and women everywhere may see your good actions, may see creation at its fullest, may see your devotion to Me, and may turn and praise your Father in heaven because of it.
                                                                                    – Matthew 5:14-16 (The Voice)

At the football stadium this year, before the game, the camera operator puts people’s images up on the giant screen. People are selected who are busy and not paying attention. It’s called the “oblivious camera” – with a timer ticking off how long it takes these unsuspecting “victims” to notice their images and actions projected on a 5000 square foot screen.

I often wonder if the camera operator is given any limits on who or what he can put on the screen during this little game.

As I sit here and watch students in class taking exams it’s always interesting to see what kinds of actions some do when they believe they’re all alone (in their head) yet sitting in a room full of others. Some will rub and scratch out of nervousness. There are all sorts of grooming rituals that take place, just mindless activity some do while thinking real hard. Cracking knuckles very loudly (mostly females), sniffing and snorting (no tissues), and so many different ways to stretch and yawn!

Did you know that yawning is contagious?

Since no one was taught handwriting in school anymore, it’s gruesome to watch all of the ways that students hold their pens and pencils while writing on an exam. It’s as if many had their hands broken and wrongly reset. Most are perfectly legible but there’s always a few examples that need to be sent over to the hieroglyphics department (we don’t have one of those, by the way).

Do you honestly believe that there’s any part of your own life that goes unnoticed by someone?

  • Parents with young children are always warned that little eyes are watching everything that goes on, be careful about what you say or do.
  • You just haven’t lived long enough if you haven’t heard a younger person telling you of some word or deed of yours they will never forget (I sure have!).
  • There are security cameras everywhere, monitoring most public locations.
  • What about that camera lense in your computer screen that’s aimed at you right now?
  • Sometimes, when it seems safe, I will walk past a screaming child in the store and say with much confidence, “Santa Claus is watching…”

When all goes haywire or you feel down in the dumps – just stop, sit still and repeat the truth to yourself, “God is watching me.” Don’t get up and run back into the fire until you’ve awakened to this truth. Let it be a light on each step you have to take.

His Eye is On The Sparrow (1905), Civilla Durfee Martin (1866-1948)

“Why should I feel discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart be lonely
and long for heaven and home?
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is he;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know he watches me.” 

God isn’t watching you in order to make fun, to find out what’s wrong, or to make you feel shame. He’s watching you because he loves you. When you decide to believe in Him and become His child, there’s nothing you are going to do that will drive Him away. Even as oblivious as you are at times, He is forever watching and caring for you.

“Should we not invariably act in this life as though the God whom our heart desires with its highest desire were watching our every action?” ― Maurice Maeterlinck

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Walking on Higher Ground

I’m pressing on the upward way
New heights I’m gaining every day
Still praying as I onward bound
“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

Lord, lift me up and let me stand
By faith on heaven’s table land
A higher plane than I have found
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

I’m Pressing on the Upward Way, Johnson Oatman

Do you remember this hymn? These days I hear and sing so few from my younger days. When I do the experience always seems to fill my spirit with all sorts of emotions. Today our pastor recited these lyrics that he had recently sung with his mother. It was another perfect moment for me, another immediate answer to prayer.

  1. It never goes away, people that treat you in terrible ways
  2. Circumstances out of your control come crashing down and capsize a carefully built life
  3. Somebody in charge thoughtlessly pitches whole chapters of your life right out the window
  4. A relationship you put so much trust in falls apart right before your eyes

So we do not set our sights on the things we can see with our eyes. All of that is fleeting; it will eventually fade away. Instead, we focus on the things we cannot see, which live on and on. – 2 Corinthians 4:18 (The Voice)

Sounds like a nice thought, but what does it mean? How do we put it into practice? Is it really possible to not pay attention when your hair is on fire and to instead only focus on a promised future? This is a hard path to walk. it

STOP

When you start to smell the smoke, don’t go into a panic mode and follow your natural inclinations. Remember Peter when he took his eyes off his Master and began to notice the storm and waves all around him? He did what was normal.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink.  – Matthew 14:29-30

If you plan on walking the higher ground, you’re going to have to STOP that defeated, discouraged, depressed attitude. I walked into worship on Sunday very much in this terrible state. I was praying and this time got hit right in my broken heart with several wonderful reminders that there indeed was a higher ground to walk. My spirit was challenged to focus on things that I was not seeing.

DROP

Right now, I am more frequently faced with the challenge to stop getting bogged down with so many troubles du jour. The practice continues until I learn to see what’s really happening and drop these “momentary, light afflictions.” How much effort is wasted stewing and steaming over some daily disaster that you probably won’t even remember in a few weeks?

…let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  – Hebrews 12:1

The next time someone strikes you on the cheek, threatens your well-being, makes you feel worthless, or takes away another dream – don’t keep it in your belly one more minute, drop it and keep your hands empty and raised in supplication.

ROLL

One last step, this is probably why I’m still having so much trouble with all of this. The cares of this world, small and large, don’t just disappear because we practice a greater will power. Dropping our “present troubles” over the side of the boat doesn’t last. They keep coming back to haunt us. I can’t sleep anymore, I’m tossing and turning, rehearsing all sorts of scenarios to fix my current problems. They don’t ever really go away until I complete the act of surrender, the step of faith.

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.  – 1 Peter 5:6-7

By acknowledging how much God loves me, how well he really knows what’s going on and admitting my complete inadequacy, I am more able to “roll” each and every disaster, disappointment and defeat onto his shoulders. Until I do this, they continue to plague my soul. Dropping isn’t enough because I’m really, really good at picking things up (just ask my wife). When I am willing and able to turn my anxieties over to my Heavenly Father – the rule of emotion is broken. That peace that is almost impossible to understand comes to rule over my life.

“The reason some of us are such poor specimens of Christianity is because we have no Almighty Christ. We have Christian attributes and experiences, but there is no abandonment to Jesus Christ.” ― Oswald Chambers

I really thought at this stage/age I’d be a better specimen. What’s so encouraging about what’s going on in my life these days is that our Heavenly Father continues to transform each one of us. He does not give up, His mercy is endless, His great plan will come true.

Plant my feet on higher ground, one step at a time…

My Life as a Dog

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“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”  – Matthew 6:26-27

There’s a dog over there, running with abandon up and down the empty lot in the middle of the city. Now he’s lounging at the base of a telephone pole. A few minutes later he’s running at breakneck speed from one end to the other.

Where are all your cares? Where will your next meal come from? Where will you sleep tonight? What of the dangers that lurk around every dark corner? You could get hit by a car!

There you sit staring off into the sky as a storm approaches – what a life.

Here I sit trapped in my cage worried about every single slight and a future that may never materialize. Eaten up with bitterness and overflowing with anger. Worries follow my every step. I’m laughing in public and wailing in private.

I’m the one living the life of a beast – untamed feelings driven more wild by this civilization all around me.

*I wrote this in 2011 looking out the window of the little cage I had just been consigned to occupy. I noticed this stray dog one day and it hit me that it was me who was becoming a wild beast.

Faith takes practice.

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” – Marcus Aurelius