“Whoever you are—I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”  – Blanche DuBois (Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire)

When does it become okay to start talking to strangers? When did you pass that marker in your life?

Humans need other humans to survive AND to learn how to survive. I used to remind my college classes, you can’t put a baby into a box and leave in the woods and hope all will be well. And, there are laws against that kind of behavior!

We are social creatures. Yet the most recent numbers don’t provide a very encouraging picture of our social health.

• Americans’ trust in others has been on a steady decline for decades. Wonder why? Do you think there’s too much media and information flooding into our lives?
• Our social networks have grown smaller and smaller. This is a critical part of our social capital that enables us and our families to thrive. There are fewer connections in our lives and those we do have are weaker than they’ve ever been.
• The levels of participation in the social world around us has also declined each time measurements are taken. Think little league games, community volunteering, church attendance, clubs/organizations and bowling leagues.
• People report that the number of people they consider close friends is getting smaller and smaller. We have friends, but those we consider close, who we really feel we can depend upon, are fewer and fewer.
• The time we spend with others who live with us in the same household is also on the decline. The time we spend at work has not increased. Perhaps we are bringing more work home now that 9-5 has become blurred by technology. Social media has also contributed to increased isolation. Even when sitting in the same room with our family, we’re often not “together.”
• Young adults, especially males, report feeling isolated from others – this number is higher than ever before, at 31%. This is probably related to fewer close friends, shrinking social networks, working at home and being addicted to our phones.
• There is a reverse correlation between income and feelings of isolation. The lower your income, the higher levels of this feeling. Where we live, how we work and the conditions of our family can all contribute to our feeling of isolation.

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”

― John Joseph Powell

I recommend we all start talking more to strangers. Most of the strangers we meet in our daily lives are involved in the service sector. People who check us out at the store, bring us our meals, answer questions over the phone, and help us find our way to the right purchase are all strangers we interact with each week.

As our economy incorporated more and more, we interact less and less with moms and pops and mostly with younger people who are trained to follow scripts. Even the friendly greetings and online banter are part of a programmed speech.

“Americans no longer talk to each other, they entertain each other. They do not exchange ideas, they exchange images. They do not argue with propositions; they argue with good looks, celebrities and commercials.” ― Neil Postman

Instead of behaving as an actor in the play, why not go off script and talk to others as if they are real people? Don’t cause problems by taking up too much time. Don’t break norms with awkward questions or topics. But instead, be human. Provide a compliment. Ask a question that allows people to shine.

When I get to the checkout at the grocery story, I tell the staffer that I just rushed over from the pickle aisle where I was told checkout number ____ was the fastest today. Here I am. Trying to compliment the speed of the checkers at the grocery store, I’ll ask if once they check out 500 customers, do they get to go home? The bagger usually rolls his/her eyes. Going to HEB is one of my few hobbies in life.

So, keep your eyes open and look for a couple strangers this week to speak a passing word or two with. It’s a great habit that makes the world a better place for all of us.

“Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.” ― Mark Twain