Being a grandparent that is!
I had another wonderful grandparent experience recently. These rare days are always the best part of my current journey. But, each time I wave goodbye I’m torn. Spending time with my grandchildren is like a miracle cure to whatever is currently ailing me. How can I put this in a bottle? I have two and they are each different people each time I’m with them. BUT… as the vehicle drives away, this almost immediate wave of physical exhaustion invades my whole mind, body and soul. I go from mountaintop to needing a fast B12 infusion.
“The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.” ―
This is difficult for me to figure out. In my past, I spent years as a youth minister. Taking teens to summer camps, retreats and overnight experiences. I even got in trouble one time by an aged pastor who wanted me to be in the office M-F, 9-5. He hadn’t really thought through the strange hours working with youth required. It never seemed to bother me. I was always ready to go without much sleep and energized for the next physical, emotional and spiritual mountaintop.
Which now makes me wonder, when did all my vavoom leak out?
Maybe it’s because, when we are together, we get up very early. My grandson arises before the son, taps me on the forehead and is ready to start watching something on a screen. Used to be a Disney film, then Paw Patrol, now it’s monster trucks. My granddaughter isn’t in a crib anymore. If we’re not quiet, she too get’s up early and joins us in bed, watching something fun. Very early.
“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” ―
Several years ago, trying to avoid the catering duties I am called on to perform, I started bringing breakfast items to bed the night before. All ready for an early, early morning. So, when their parents arise, hours later, they find the kids and I all under the blanket, with the glow of a screen on our faces, munching cereal and sipping from juice boxes. I’m still yawning and wiping sleep from my eyes. We’ve had a full morning already.
It’s now a week later and I’m still finding Apple Jacks in my bed.
Maybe it’s because, they’ve each got their own quickly changing agenda. I can put together a well designed plan, but attention spans being what they are at those ages (3 and 7), my well crafted strategies for fun often don’t last much past the first few tries. By the time I make it down to the floor to start the game, they are each up and off to the next new attraction. All the bits and pieces scattered about. I’m not going to tell you how long it sometimes takes me to get back up off the floor…
We try to go for walks these days. Getting out of the house, away from so many distractions, a perfect setting for questions and conversations. There are ducks on the water, birds in the trees, dogs barking, leaves to be picked up, bike riders to step back from, and another sun setting through the clouds. Lot’s of energy to burn off. Everyone has their own walking stick to poke and prod with. Props make everything more fun. Long walks with children should be required for all adults. It helps to put so much else into perspective.
“History begins at ground level, with footsteps.” ―
Maybe it’s because I’m not following directions. I’m all ready for each visit with all the sugary treats that makes eyes glow with joy. Mom is ready with a frown and a big NO. They are each always hungry and thirsty for something. I need to have a lot of fruit, milk and snacks. Who wants plain old, plain old? So much junk food and candy produces bouncing off the wall and even shorter attention. I guess it can be like an old fashioned punk rock concert minus the music. I’m too busy chasing to notice.
My three-year-old picks up everything in reach. Mostly all the framed photos I have everywhere. She’s delighted to see herself and all the other faces in her family. She wants to share the joy by handing out large framed pictures to everyone in the room. I’ve noticed with them, everything ends up on the floor. To be honest, I enjoy all these leftovers of their exuberance. Even scattered on the floor. In the days after they’ve left, I wander through the carnage. There are fingerprints galore, an FBI field day. Who decided it was a good idea to have black kitchen countertops, after wiping it all down for the third time that morning. The mom who invented those cannisters of wipes and packets of wet-wipes was a genius!
“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?” ―
My own grandparents were well integrated into my life growing up. Not taking us on trips to Disneyland or throwing theme parties. They were present in the dozens of simple everyday activities. Their house was a safe place where we could grow up, learn and become ourselves. I was the oldest and most misbehaved. Living with a second home was all I knew, didn’t everyone have grandparents like this?
What were your role models like?
That’s the kind of grandparent I have intended to be – as involved as possible in the simple everyday practices of life. It’s taken too long for me to realize, but that’s going to take much more advance planning on my part. Like how to get back up off the floor!
The Invisible Man 