“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.” ― Umberto Eco

And it’s not even Father’s Day

I’ve had the privilege of witnessing a handful of young fathers in action – they give me hope for the future.  While watching video of my grandson playing soccer, I’m listening to young dads hollering out encouraging coaching from the sidelines. Did you see the recent story about the dad who trudged through the devastation of Hurricane Helene so that he could walk his daughter down the aisle? How do you think LeBron James feels these days, playing on the same NBA team with is son?

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”  – Jim Valvano

I teach classes about fatherhood and often look at the latest numbers related to families in America. The trend hasn’t been in a positive direction. What most of our leaders don’t ever want to address is the real source of so many of our social problems. When kids grow up without a father, this sets them up for failures. We all suffer the consequences.

It’s almost impossible to find literature and research about fatherhood in the social sciences today. The after effects of the sexual revolution weren’t all positive. I think it makes many people too uncomfortable. Unfortunately, whole generations are being schooled in the academy with a strange propaganda that diminishes the essential role of fathers and nuclear families. The numbers don’t offer much support for this decades-long blindness.

“Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating…too often fathers neglect it because they get so caught up in making a living they forget to make a life.” ― John Wooden

Once they pass, we remember all of the big things and then all the little things that our fathers did for us. There is a photo of my wife’s mom and dad hanging on the wall that I walk past each day. They have now both left and traveled to heaven. They planted themselves deep in all of our lives. This memory I see each day reminds me that this beloved father and grandfather said and did so many things that kept our ship afloat. All he ever did, I mean literally, was give himself away for his family and others. That’s how he defined his life’s purpose. What an example to follow.

I heard from a grandfather today about his routine taking his grandchildren to school – they each list three things they were thankful for that day. I told him that constant ritual will be something they will always remember. He is planting this eternal habit into their lives. He is also making himself into a memory that will burn bright.

What did that dad in your life say or do that helped make you into who you are today? It’s worth remembering as often as you can.

“A father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remains as a pillar of strength throughout our lives.” ― Ama H. Vanniarachchy